Inherently Ridiculous


I Heart Tuesdays. Right on.
March 29, 2005, 11:13 am
Filed under: blah blah blah

My Room
About to Go Attack the World
Happy, Healthy, Hooray!
Life is Good.
11:14 am
Tuesday, March 29, 2005

I Heart Tuesdays

Everything is coming up roses, because I have the coolest schedule ever. I have class, basically from 9:30 – 4:00 Monday, Wednesday, Friday, but I have nothing! on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Hooray.

Things to do Today:
Summer Links — figure out what agencies I’m applying to
Book Store
Bank
DCAM
Phsychology Reading
French
Copies of the Music for rehearsal
Rehearsal
Naked Meeting
Work?

I feel as if for once in my life, I may actually have time to do it all, to focus on my academics, and be a happy, healthy member of society at the same time. With the handy dandy way I’ve divided my life, everything has it’s own proper place. Awesome.

Karl came over last night, and it was super nice. I really like him. And not just because he’s warm and cuddly. I could go into a sting of plesant adjectives, but who really wants that? The truth of the matter is that I’m happy to be with someone who has their own life as well, their own interests, hobbies, ideas, goals — yet who makes time for me. And he holds my hand, and picks me up in the lobby when I see him. I mean, what’s there for a girl not to like? Did I mention the hotness? I’m all about functional, slow moving, relationships, and I will not, will not over analyze, freak out, or anything else thoroughly retarded like that. Good point being that I am at the same time enjoy this relationship, recognize it as such, see things I need to avoid, and more on, leave it at that, continues enjoying the hell out of this guy. Right on.

Portland was the shit and a half. Vault Martini was posh, and yummy, and Ned and Allison amazingly interesting, kind hearted, intelligent people. Right on. Mount Saint Helens was a such a dazzling show of Nature’s Beauty. Breath taking. And the corn kernel snow was pretty funny. I crochetted a blanked that I can wear in two days, got lost in three city blocks worth of books, many of which I read curled up in a nest of blankets with Alii. I napped, I ate delicious organic food, went to bars and danced in public. I got a tatoo. Pictures of all the adventuring are forthcoming. I bought much hippie shit, tasted Oregon’s finest, and got to meet Alii’s fairy God-mother. Jeanne is amazing — such a spirited woman, insightful, pithy, and fabulous. Van is the chillest person I’ve ever met, hands down. And I think it goes without saying that Alii’s parents were amazing people. Alii and I walked, talked, laughed, ate, sang while walking down the street, made the bus, got rained on, hungover and generally happy. We got happy.

And now I’m to finish my toilette and off to the UCSC to decide my future. Time to pick which agencies I’m going to appy to for Summer Links. Then buy books. Tasty tasty books. I love my life. I heart Tuesdays. As Ned would say, in full Portland accent, “Right on.” (You’ll have to image the hippi-tastic head bob.)

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Here’s to the Quarter of Yea!
March 21, 2005, 1:18 pm
Filed under: blah blah blah

A Little Coffee Shop
PORTLAND!
11:19 am
Monday, March 21, 2005

Here’s to the Quarter of Yea!

Portland is the shit. I just wanted to state that for the record, right off the bat.

I don’t have much time, so I won’t go into all that we’ve done, will do.

Just suffice it to say that I may in fact have to live in Portland, teach at Reed, at some point.

This is how we bring in the quarter of yea!



Whistle While You Work
March 11, 2005, 12:03 am
Filed under: blah blah blah

My Room
Codine + Cough Syrup =
Relief from the Plague
Feeling Better
Worky McWork Work
Post-Whistle Casting, Round 1
12:04 am
Friday, March 11, 2005
Reading Period
15 Pages to Go
5 Days Till PORTLAND

Whistle While You Work

Every illness has a curve, with an inital downward slope, and low point of doom, and eventually, if you don’t choke and die, an upside, where you soon realize, “Oh, I will get better? I’m not destined to be sick forever?” What a nice place to be.

The doctor’s gave me medicine, my boss, said, “Yea, you need to slow down. You do too much,” and my immune system said no. Hello sleeping all day Tuesday, after my Final Physics Exam. I spent Monday in the library. 8 Hours of Studying.

But, sweet Tuesday, did I sleep. Wednesday was for more sleep. And finishing my lab. My Final Physics Lab. And Karl. I was cured by Karl. Oh the amazing healing powers of cuddling.

Today was my French Lector Oral, my French Lecture Oral, and make-up quizes. I realized an important thing. I’ve been having difficulty. I’ve been having difficulty grasing the grammatical structures, this quarter and last, and I think I may have realized the problem. The packet. It’s not organized, or presented very logically, structurally. It’s hodgepodge, willy-nilly, cut-and-paste, and confusing.

I retaliated, alibit a too little too late, with a composition notebook. The bastion of academic order and tidiness. I went through the ammogalation that is the French Packet and made my own systematic rendering of the material.

And I remember it.

It worked! My oral went swimmingly, as I was able to picture the page where I’d written the forms of the future tense. Splendid. All the better to learn with next quarter, my pretty.

Then, I had Whistly auditions. They were lovely. It was, as always, inspiring to be on the other side of auditions, watching people pour their creative souls out — at least hopefully. Those were the people we tended to like the most, at least. Beautiful.

Then came the tough part: casting. We weren’t even casting for real, just figuring out who goes to call-backs and who not, and for what parts, limit 2 Ben Fink! Ben and I work well together: I’m enough of a hard-ass (uppity cunt as Eric would say) to counter balance his big ‘ole heart. We came up with a quality list of people that will be spectacular.

And I had to sent out emails. I was writing and speaking what I was saying outloud to get Alii’s opinon. She said, “You definatley should go into business: you speak bureaucrate.” Hehe. She’s right though. Only problem with this was Emily. First, she came and asked Alii and I if she’d made call backs. I told her that she needed to wait for an email. She didn’t get called back. Then she came and asked why, and eventually went in Alii’s room and cried with her. I don’t feel bad really. I didn’t see her audition, and was therefore only able to make comments about what I think working with her would be like on a personal level.

I’m really not going to take this opportunity to rant about Emily, and God knows I want to,b ut let it be known: SHE WILL NOT RUIN PORTLAND. I have a very low tolerance for people who ‘tag along’ ‘invite themselves’ or any other derivitive of that general sentiment. So much in fact, that I actively strive to not be that.

Maybe if she were interesting . . .

But, that is done. Alii and I were about to dye my hair when she came in and said she needed to talk to Alii again. We’ll see what come of that.

I haven’t started my paper yet — but that’s what tomorrow is for. I’m taking the French Exam, and then writing this paper, followed by work and a call-back planning meeting.

Man, I need to call my people from home. I miss them. I miss being a more major part of their lives. It saddens me.

I got offered a spot in the Summer Links Intership program, here in Chicago, and I’m going to accept it. That means I can get an apartment this summer with Alii, and finally have a home again. That means leaving those friends behind for a little while longer — Looks like it’ll be Christmas next before I’m home for any period of time. I miss y’all, and love y’all. Don’t forget that, ever, kay?

Today, was a good day. I woke up happy, I accomplished many things, and generally grabbed life by the horns. I hope that I can meet tomorrow with the same. Here’s to trying, and whistling while I work.



I Have the Plague. . . Again
March 8, 2005, 11:52 am
Filed under: blah blah blah

My Room
Ill
11:53 am
Tuesday, March 8, 2005

I Have the Plague . . . Again

Of course, during crunch week, when I need to be studying constantly, I caught the plague again. I think I only kinda had it last time, and this time, it’s for real. Hello coughing, runny nose, aches, chills, fevers, and the inability to concentrate.

On the upside, they gave me Lean, and Alii’s taking caring of me.

I’m going to sleep through today, and hopefully I feel well enough to finish my last physics lab, (once Grant emails me the numbers) study for my ASL final, and continue studying for French.

Boo.

Off to bed.

Oh, and Keller rocked my muther fucking face off. It was amazing, stupendous, and pretty much any other good adjective you care to use. Yea, until I woke up Sunday, with the plague. Why does my immune system suck so much?



KELLER!!!!
March 5, 2005, 11:16 am
Filed under: blah blah blah

Work
Coffee = Love
DONE WITH MUFFET
Sleepy
Going to Go Look at an Apartement Soon
KELLER KELLER KELLER
11:16 am
Saturday, March 5, 2005

KELLER!!!

The day is here. At 8:00 pm this evening, I will in fact be rocking my face off hardcore. I will dance, I will yell, I will jam. Yes, I’m excited.

Keller was what got me into jam bands in the first place — I wouldn’t be the giant hippie I am today were it not for him. It all started with Amanda Bolton and I riding around in her piece of shit convertable all summer, “taking pictures” and listening to music. One day, this song came on. It was fabulous, wonderful, funny, catchy, and generally ass-kicking all around. We listened to it repeatedly until I went home. And I was addicted. Then came the two week long search to find the song on CD, as Amanda only had a live version of it on an album someone burned for her. She didn’t even know for sure who wrote it. I thought I was doomed to always have that song in my head without ever hearing it played. Then, I made a brillant discovery. I stopped and bought a random CD at Hastings before driving to Denton, and low and behold.

I had found it: Kidney in a Cooler, by Keller Williams

“If you go down to Deep Ellum
To the Gypse Tea Room
Tell ‘Em I’m Broke Down In Oklahoma
And I’ll try to make it there soon
Oh sweet mama, your daddy’s got the Deep Ellum Blues”

My first real concert was Keller Williams, Gypse Tea Room, Dallas Texas, Valentines Day three years ago. With Sean.

And tonight, I go to do it all over again, on bigger, better and uncut. Alii and I, Rivera Theatre. KELLER.

On another note, to sum the past week. It flew by. I didn’t do as much work as I should of, as I had Muffet, which went really well. Thank God it’s over though. It’s nice to have my life back.

Karl’s been spending the night frequently, which I adore. Damn, I think I might be on to something here. Last night we had a strange discussion where we decided that calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend is at least mostly applicable, and easier to say then, “We really like each other and we’re scared to define it because we don’t want to mess things up, but we might as well be a couple because we are anyways.”

Yea, that’s a mouthful.

OH, I’m going to look at an apartement today. In Ben Fink’s building. Oh am I excited. I really hope that Alii and I can get it. Oh the joy! Home home home home home.

Off to do something productive.

“If you need a hand hold
Baby you can take hold
of my love handles
of my love handles

If you need to get your love on
baby you grab on
to my love handles
to my love handles

more of me to love”



Polka Dots = Love
March 1, 2005, 11:01 pm
Filed under: blah blah blah

My Room
Hanging with Alii
THREE DAYS TILL KELLER
15 DAYS TILL PORTLAND
Having a Drink
Admiring our Handywork
11:02 pm
Tuesday, March 1, 2005

Polka Dots = Love

Today was a good solid day. And boy did it feel good.

The other day, Alii and I were discussing our want of a mutual snow. And by “our,” I mean, I said, “Man, I want one more big-stay-inside-drink-coco-and-cuddle-snow-storm before the winter ends.” “Uhh huh. Sure you do.”

It snowed last night, and this morning it felt so fresh to step out into brillance, yet untarnished by many feet, missed marks, or small disappointments. I’m romanticizing it a bit, as it was 12:15 when I left the house, and it was fucking cold, but you get my point.

All the better, I had an interview with Summer Links, and I think it went well. Some of my answers were corny, I know, but they were honest and open, which I’ve decided is best when it comes to interviews. Well spoken, yes.

They asked me what make me mad. I told them people who didn’t try. I extended it of course, and explained that I mean when people gave up on their lives. I told them about Matt, how he’s dropped off the planet, not studying for the MCAT’s, or really being his own person. I’m all for relationships, for love, companionship, and I’m so happy that he’s found someone he loves, and who I assume, hope, loves him too. But, she’s not in school right now and he is. Matt is easily persuaded. I hope he realiizes this, and does whatever needs doing. Or I hope I’m completely wrong, and he is studying, and maintaining other frienships, his own identity, rocking life and learning about love. And I told them how it angers me to see someone not working towards their future, not making positive change.

That’s a decent answer right?

I told them about how important STRIVE is, or at least the mission of STRIVE. I’m not in a position to make most of that changes I would to improve it, but some day, hopefully I will be.

Ahh. Oh the future.

Keller’s soon. Hooray for Keller. No sick Alii’s this time.

And I actually started my paper today. I mean, I went to Hutch and sat down with the first piles of readings I’ve found, and pulled from the 1200 pages we’ve read. (At least!) I went through them and made note of the theories I want to make use of. There’s more to go. I want to look into finding material that sugests that groups, tracks, lead to greater social inequality. Which we’ve read many many opinions of, so I just need to figure out who’s to go with.

I’ve still got over two weeks on that though.

And I studied for the French exam. I’ve got a little bit of time for that. A week and a day. As long as I keep up the little bursts of studying on it, I should be okay. Plus to night nearer to for intensive training.

My last Physics lab was tonight, thank god. That went well, and Grant and I are going to do that lab on Thursday, after I observe Ms. Sheridan’s class again, and after meet Xin for lecture session. Coolio.

Alli and I hung my pictures on the wall today. This room feels like home now. I’m so ready to have a home. I really can’t wait till me and Alii get an apartement. Then I’ll have a place to call my own for at least two years. Oh joy! Oh rapture! I need to go talk the the financial aide office and see what kind of financial aide hook-up they give you if you move off campus. I know it’s way cheaper. Does that mean that since I’m asking for less, I get less? That would be fucked up and unacceptable. I’m going to talk to Grandma and Grandma about helping me out. That with loans and work, I should be able to swing it.

Oh! To live in an apartment! Hooray!

I went and saw Anna Deaver Smith tonight. Nancy McNally on West Wing. She was amazing. She goes around interviewing people on various things — aka Walt Witman, looking for ‘the american experience’ — and records their interview, and re-enacts it for them. It’s fabulous. She focuses a lot on race relations. It’s amazing this new type of art she’s come up with, to express her own views. Tasty.

We put polka dots around one of the pictures on my wall. It’s a picture of a tree that I took at Caldwell Zoo, on my old school Pentax. I love Trees. And I love Polka Dots. It’s above my bed.

Oh Lauren! I hung up a picture frame with a place holder picture. You spot’s all ready!

And with the watching of West Wing.